Day 13572: Woke up in distress, under thoughts, memories created and stories told. Now a sense of the animal nature of it all. The stalking of prey. The understanding of primitive action. It was so upsetting to the core. The violation, the trespass. What was she doing? What the fuck was she here for? And what did she do while here? What the fuck? The lack of understanding and the trust in her lies was a situation of confoundment and never could a conclusion be found. Just the endless mind circles. So what to do was allow for the unrest. Not to take it personally and to enlist the advice on worldly matters. Then the esoteric — what was the invitation into the land? Or rather the tracking of it. The knowledge of it known. The witness while not present. Being able to live outside of time. The past in the present on the future. It all becomes zen when the details are removed. Ponder that amongst the noise. Boil it down to the bottom without burning the essence. Either protect or don’t, but admitted weakness is manufactured advantage lost if not acted to strengthen, or if fortified, the cost is large. The price is paid always on admission. Before that there is no ripple in the mind. No space for anything of any nature to reside.